January 26, 2010

In memoriam



Unfortunately I am going to be sharing a somewhat depressing and sad blog, and though I feel that most of my blogs try to end with an uplifting note, this one must just be said.

Yesterday the father of one of my best friends passed away. It is one of those things that was possible but completely unexpected. I had planned to spend the evening with my friend, and when I finally got the call that I thought would tell me what movie we we're going to see I was simply told, "he died". It was like all air had been let out of the room.

Brian was the father of my biggest crush/ bestest friend in high school. I think deep down, at 16, I had decided that one day he might even be my father-in-law. But as his son and I aged our love grew into a very beautiful non-romantic love. It's now kind of weird to even think back. Anyways, Brian and his family are some of the most amazingly caring, open, and fun families you will ever meet. I have loved them from the days of homecoming and I have loved them since Brian converted his Cougar son's van into a Husky-mobile (Washington State rivalries). I have loved them throughout my life as I have changed from an awkward teenager to the awkward woman I am today.

Now, I have been part of a very, extremely lucky majority of the world who has not yet had to experience a lot of death. The only people I remember dying are great grandparents and pets, so this one is a little strange to me. I find myself swiftly moving between numbness and sobbing and I can't quite seem to grasp what has really happened. I find myself feeling bad for feeling so bad because it wasn't even my dad, and then I cry even harder for his family. I guess the weird thing for me is, my friends parents aren't supposed to die yet. They are not even close to old at sixty. They are supposed to be healthy and hilarious and caring until I'm at least fifty. I just don't understand. I suppose once I am able to think things through more clearly I can write about the idea of death and life, but I think the only reason I am writing this now is to say,

I love you Brian. You were an amazing dad, husband, and pet owner. You were an amazing Husky and Totem's fan. You were an amazing man, and you never made a girl feel intimidated or embarrassed for chasing after your son. You will be greatly greatly missed, but you raised an amazingly strong family who are already grieving gracefully and bravely. Thank you for everything you have given us. We love you.

3 comments:

Nancy C said...

Saying what you said honors this man, and shows your caring spirit.

I know exactly what you meant. When my best friend's mom died when we were in high school, it rocked me to the core.

XOXO

Matthew Isaacson said...

I'm so sorry to hear about your loss. I don't think you should feel bad for mourning, though, as parent or not, he was an important person to you.

Mrs4444 said...

Sorry for the loss of this man, who obviously meant a lot to you.

I was 40 when the first person I truly loved passed away suddenly and unexpectedly; it was like a kick in the stomach, for sure. Lots to figure out. It was my FIL, and he left hole that is still there, but we have healed a lot. Dying is a part of life, I guess, but it's still shocking.